


Upset

by ThedasWitch



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M, in which alistair is a romantic dork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 18:23:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5637178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThedasWitch/pseuds/ThedasWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a visit home to see her brother, Keira returns to Denerim in a low mood. Alistair tries to figure out what’s wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Upset

**Author's Note:**

> This might have a (few?) follow up fics. Depends on where the story goes. 
> 
> As always, I love comments!

Alistair’s queen was upset.

She had been, ever since she’d arrived back in Denerim. She’d been visiting her family home in Highever, a trip she tried to make every six weeks or so. He knew that Keira worried about her brother, who still lived in and ruled the Teyrnir alone. But seeing Fergus in person usually made her feel better, not worse.

Keira had made her usual stops after returning to the castle; she’d dropped off her traveling gear at the armory, popped into the kitchens to swipe something for her mabari, checked with the steward to see if any correspondence had come while she was away, and then come to their chambers to bathe and dress for dinner. He’d been waiting for her in their rooms, wanting to steal some time alone with the wife he hadn’t seen in a whole week.

Alistair had planned to make it a romantic evening. As soon as a messenger had brought word she was in Denerim, he’d sent for a bath. After telling the staff that they’d be dining alone in their chambers instead of in the main hall, he’d canceled his last few commitments so they’d have the whole night to themselves. He’d gotten wine, their favorite foods, the massage oil she secretly loved… he’d even managed a vase of roses that matched the one he’d first given her. It had all the makings of a very special night between him and his queen, even if she was too road-weary for it to lead to sex.

Although he was _really_ hoping it would lead to sex.

But Keira had been distracted from the moment she walked in the door. Her dog had bounded into the room and jumped directly onto their bed, as excited as ever to be home. But she had walked in slowly, without more than a small smile at the sight of Alistair waiting for her.

Not that he was expecting her to take a running leap into his arms, (Although that _had_ happened once, after a particularly long time apart. She’d barely managed to catch him in time.) but he’d thought she’d have a little more of a reaction. He’d shaved off the goatee she loved to tease him about and everything.

But she’d just walked in and given him that enigmatic smile. She’d kissed him once, warmly enough, but had pulled away with an excuse about needing to wash off the dirt of the road.

Now she was sitting on her hands on the edge of their bed, wrapped in a robe. She’d been staring blankly at a spot on the wall.

Alistair sat beside her, not sure what he was supposed to do in a situation like this. The two of them had been through so much together--not many couples spent their courtship fighting Darkspawn--but even after two years of marriage he still sometimes felt out of his depth.

“Please talk to me, love,” he said. “I don’t...if there’s something bothering you, I want to be able to help.”

Keira looked down at her hands and let out a breath. “I had a talk with Fergus.”

That… was not what he’d expected to hear. “Oh. Um. What about?”

She slid closer and let him wrap an arm around her shoulders. “A lot of things. Big things.” Keira laid her cheek against him.

“Nothing I did, I hope? I didn’t think I’d been especially stupid in at least a few months.”

He could feel her face move as she smiled. “No, nothing you did, you ridiculous man. You have been nothing but wonderful.” She grasped his hand in hers, pulling it up to kiss his knuckles. “It’s Fergus. He says that he has no intention of remarrying.”

“I can’t say that I don’t understand his point,” said Alistair, “after everything that Howe did. If something happened and I lost you…” On second thought, that was not a situation he wanted to imagine too clearly. “Well, I understand.”

Keira squeezed his hand tighter. “I know. I can’t imagine what he’s gone through… that’s why I didn’t press him on it. I’m not about to try and force him into anything when he’s so clearly still hurting. But…” she trailed off.

“Buuuuttt…” Alistair prompted.

“ _But_ if he doesn’t marry again,” she continued, “if he has no heir… there were some issues we needed to discuss.”

Alistair shifted on the bed and turned Keira so they were facing each other. “Like what?” he asked, concerned that there was something big she was still holding back.

“Like… the Teyrnir,” she said, carefully. “Technically, as the only other living Cousland… I’m the heir if anything happens to him. And, truly, I don’t mind that. I love Highever, I always have. And there are good people there, people who can care for it while I’m here in Denerim. Here with you. Just like Amaranthine. I don’t need to live there all year. I mean, maybe we can spend summers there, or something, just because it’s so lovely then, and it was home… And, anyway, Fergus is healthy, and with the Blight over, I don’t see it even being an issue for years yet…” She was babbling. She always did when she was nervous or overwhelmed. Normally, Alistair thought it was adorable. Except for moments like this, when she was clearly trying to avoid the real issue that had upset her.

“So what’s the problem, love?” he asked.

“The problem,” she continued, “is the rest of the line of succession. Fergus made certain… provisions, for what would would happen to the Teyrnir. I’m his heir, for now, but he said… he said that he stipulates in his will that the inheritance goes first to our child. Our second child, that is. He said that he looks forward to being an uncle to Ferelden’s next monarch, but he wants to keep the Cousland legacy in the family. So once there’s another Theirin to succeed you, he would like our permission to make our second child his heir.”

Alistair could see tears starting to pool in her eyes. but he didn’t understand why this was upsetting her so badly. “Isn’t that good news?” he asked. “I thought you’d be happy about this. That your home is staying in your family, that your brother has things settled…”

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say; Keira pulled away from him and started pacing, the way she always did when she was overwhelmed with something. He stood up, but stayed where he was by the bed. He never knew what to do when she was upset like this. Maker, Archdemons and public speaking were nothing compared to a distraught wife.

“It’s just that…” she said, raking a hand through her still-damp hair. “Alistair, we’ve been married for _two years_. And in those two years, we've spent… Many, many nights together.”

Alistair crossed the room to Keira, taking her hands. “Yes… And I've certainly enjoyed those nights.” He tried for a winning grin, hoping to charm a little bit of a smile out of her.

“Please, Alistair, listen to me,” she continued, apparently not in the mood to be charmed. “In two whole years, two years of being together, of making love, of not… taking precautions… I haven't gotten pregnant. I haven't even thought I _might_ be pregnant.”

“Yes, but we knew it might be difficult for us before we got married…”

She was really crying now, silent tears rolling down her face. “But, love… What if it's not just difficult? What if it's never going to happen?”

He tried to wipe away a tear, tried to comfort her, but he had no idea what to do to fix this.

Keira continued to speak. “What if we never have heirs? What if we're just setting Ferelden up to go right back to where it was when Cailan died, and now Highever too… We can’t let them all down like this, we can't…”

Alistair embraced her then, pulling her close to his chest. It hurt him to see his wife like this, to see the strongest woman he knew crumble. Especially when, if he was being honest, he shared all of her fears.

He pressed a kiss into her hair. “I don't have the answers, Keir. I wish… I wish I did. All I know is that I don't regret the decisions that brought us here. I don't regret meeting you, or fighting with you, or marrying you. I don't even regret you making me take the crown, because you make the most wonderful queen I could've ever imagined. Because I love you. And whatever it takes, we’ll figure this out.”

Keira shifted in his arms and pulled his face to hers, pressing their foreheads together. “I know.” She held him like that for a moment, their breath mingling. “I love you, too.”

Alistair kissed her on the temple. “We're going to get through this, love. We stopped a Blight, and we lived. We can do this too.”

Keira kissed him soundly this time, and he returned it with every bit of passion he could, trying to show her without speaking everything he was feeling; that he loved her, that he truly believed they were stronger than anything they faced, that he wanted everything for them and for their future. He didn't know if she understood all of that in a single kiss, but he intended to spend the rest of the night showing her, again and again.

The rest of his life, too.


End file.
